Feeling Beings Who Think

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Music

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Jon: Welcome to Good News, being

brought to you by Listening for Clues.

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Lauren: We are Lauren Welch and

Jon Shematek, deacons in the

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Episcopal Diocese of Maryland.

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Jon: We sure are, and today we have a very

special guest, the Reverend Arianne Rice.

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Arianne is an ordained Episcopal priest,

an engaging presenter, facilitator,

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and ACC certified leadership coach.

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She works with individuals and

groups to harness the power of

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emotional intelligence and cultivate

capacities of spiritual leadership,

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that is, leading with discernment.

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Presence, mindfulness, and

compassionate self examination.

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She is also a certified Daring

Way facilitator, utilizing the

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methodology developed by Dr.

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Brené Brown for understanding

the power of vulnerability.

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and the necessity of cultivating shame

resilience skills for adaptive leadership.

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For the past 12 years, Ariane has served

the community of the Church of the Good

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Shepherd in Towson, Maryland as rector,

and she is the board president of St.

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Luke's Youth Center.

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SLYC, a collaborative of West Baltimore

families working together to provide youth

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with critical resources, life enriching

experiences and a safety net of support.

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Welcome Arianne.

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We're really thrilled to

have you with us today.

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Arianne: Thanks.

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It's great to be here.

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It's strange and humbling to

hear one's bio read aloud.

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Jon: It's an extensive one.

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We're really excited

to hear more about you.

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Lauren: It's a joy to have

you with us today, Ariane.

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So, tell us, what inspired you to

begin this journey into podcasting

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and leadership development?

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Arianne: Well, I guess the short

answer in The, the big lane that

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the three of us share is Jesus.

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And then there's of course a much

longer and more complicated answer.

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So podcasting, I feel like I listened and.

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I was a consumer of podcasts long

before there was even the word podcast.

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I remember singing with an opera company

in Central Florida in, well, I'm not gonna

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say the age, a long time ago, downloading

on my little e machine computer

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episodes of This American Life, which

probably was one of the first podcasts.

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But it started as probably a lot of.

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People listening know as a

incredible and still thriving

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show on NPR of story sharing.

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And I loved listening to stories.

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It's where I discovered the writer

David Sedaris, who's a pretty

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well known humorist and essayist.

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And I just felt like when I listened in

that intimate way to people sharing from

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the, their own lived experience, I always

came away with something, even if their

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experience was so different than mine

or in some ways similar in some ways,

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I guess it was like having colleagues

and friends around me when I had moved

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to this place that I lived in for a

very short time, because at that time I

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was pursuing a very different vocation.

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so I think that's kind of when I started

with podcasts and continued listening

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to them as a way of getting whatever

I wanted to hear, wherever I was.

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And then I would say many things happened.

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I went into the priesthood in.

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2003, I began my discernment for ordained

istry and started seminary in: 2005

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My first congregation was in St.

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Philip's Episcopal Church in Durham,

North Carolina, which was a place

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I never thought I'd live you know,

just never imagined being, and fell

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in love with being in a parish..

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I actually started seminary kind of

thinking I would go into academia.

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And then from St.

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Philip's came here to Baltimore because

at the time I had a very definitive

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mindset around the path one was supposed

to take in the career of being a priest.

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And the next step in that career, as I saw

it, was to go from being an assistant at a

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larger church to being rector of maybe not

so quite a big church, to then go on to

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be rector of bigger and bigger churches.

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And I'm sure this sounds

familiar to people who do.

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I do for a living.

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I no longer ascribe to that

methodology, by the way.

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Life has taught me much wiser

things I always loved when I was an

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associate, probably a little more so

than in my role as rector, being with

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adults in their formation process.

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I did that a lot at my seminary

and field placement at St.

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Luke in the Fields in the

West Village in Manhattan.

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And as an adult who kind of rediscovered

Jesus through the Episcopal Church,

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I was raised Roman Catholic for

the most part, had a very positive

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experience in the Roman Catholic

Church until just before I left.

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And to rediscover my faith

through the Episcopal Church was

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a glorious adventure in some ways.

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Like falling in love, falling

in love with liturgy, falling in

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love with a way of thinking about

God that was sort of new to me.

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I see you're nodding heads because

I'm sure you share this sentiment.

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And so I always loved that aspect of

being a priest that you not only got to

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do your own deep dive, but then you got

to journey with people in looking at their

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own life, reflecting on their own life.

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And the gospel, I would say, that

really inspired me was sort of,

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it's one everybody knows and we

hear it in many different forms.

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it's when Jesus says, you know,

before you take out the speck

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in your neighbor's eye, Sure.

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You take a look at that

log in your own eye.

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And I think when you go

into ordained ministry

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there's an invitation to do some real

self examination as to why you are called.

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That word is, you know, very full

of meaning and association we leave

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it for religious folks, and it's not

just for religious folks by any means.

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It has to do with our passions,

what helps us come alive, what makes

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us feel like we were born to do.

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But why?

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Why do you feel called to do that?

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And I took advantage of classes at

Union Seminary with Anne Ulanoff in

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particular, who's a pretty famous Jungian

psychoanalyst and writer I began my own

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Psychotherapeutic work because I thought

it was very important for clergy to do

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self examination if you're going to be

with people, particularly in crises.

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Anyway, all of that was a part of

my call to really wanting to be with

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adults in their own spiritual growth.

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So to get back to that question

around leadership development.

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I was rector.

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I mean, everybody's a leader.

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I kind of think we all lead

in different capacities, but

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we're all leaders in some way.

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Rector, you're in a kind

of obvious leadership role.

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And in my third year here, I had a pretty

devastating year because of a couple

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of things that happened in my life.

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Two of which were

exceedingly unanticipated.

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One was I began process to become

separated and I'm now divorced from my

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first husband and my sister ended her life

two months after I announced that to the

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congregation and I'm the oldest of three.

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And it was both, my sister struggled

with mental illness for a very long

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time and addiction and so it's going

to take me a minute because when

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I kind of bring it up, it's close.

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So

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it was two very big endings in a

way that was very hard rendering.

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And at my church that year,

we had a series of tragedies.

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Just one after the other.

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We had a vestry member who was

hit by a wave in Ocean City.

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His neck was broken.

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I drove into Salisbury to be

with their family as we ended

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the life sustaining treatment.

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We had another member of the

congregation who was only in

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his late 30s he ended his life.

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Four months later, my former father in

law was given a diagnosis of esophageal

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cancer and died within two months.

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And so, attending a funeral as a not

quite divorced, but definitely separated

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person is, I mean, it was, and that

wasn't all of it, and then besides,

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there were the regular funerals and

all of that culminated in one of the

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most tragic events that we collectively

have lived through in this diocese,

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which was I was part of the search

committee that calls Heather Cook.

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So it was a very dark year and

podcasts, believe it or not

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they kind of like saved my life.

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I don't know how else to say when I

had a day off and I'm, I'm pretty good

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about making sure I keep my day off.

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I would just spend hours walking

and listening to a podcast.

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, the intimacy of being with people

who opened their hearts, shared their

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journeys, what gave them strength.

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When they felt the way I did, even

though their circumstances were so

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different, it was very sustaining.

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And I...

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Loved the format of it.

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I certainly love reading and there's

preaching as a way that people take things

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in and it's a way we take things in as

preachers in order to deliver a sermon.

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But there's just something about podcasts.

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I don't know.

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It's, it's an intimate conversation

that you get to just sit and listen to.

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You don't have to participate in it.

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And yet you get all the benefits of

really being in a room with people.

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So I loved it and it was life sustaining.

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And then kind of, I would say without

a doubt, what really pulled me out of

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that year into sort of seeing life would

be beginning again, was number one, I

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will say the support of my congregation.

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they were, they were

incredibly supportive people.

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I've been here a while and have

deep relationships and love for.

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So that would be number one.

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Number two would be my therapist.

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I'm a big believer in therapy, especially

when we're going through difficult times.

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We need a skilled professional

to, to walk with us.

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Spiritual director, of course the

Episcopal Diocese of Texas issued a

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call to the entire church that they

would be offering a Daring Way training

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for any clergy in the Episcopal

Church that wanted a subsidized

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week of learning to be certified.

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I hadn't actually read Brene Brown's

books at that point, but I had heard

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her on a podcast with Krista Tippett and

I must've listened to that podcast 50

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times and I just could not believe how,

not only did I feel very akin to what

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she was saying, like it resonated for

me, it resonated with all my theology.

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With everything I thought about Jesus

and vulnerability and walking the way

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of the cross and meeting people where

they are and saying time and time

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again, whatever you're ashamed of,

nope, it's, you know, God loves you.

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And I'm here to tell you there is no

shame because there just doesn't exist

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in the giant capacity of God that

we can't completely conceptualize.

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So I signed right up.

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And spent a week in Texas

that was transformative.

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Still, you know, colleagues and

friends with some of the people who

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went through that training with me.

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Almost all of whom I know have

utilized that training in a

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vocational, professional capacity.

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And kudos to Brene Brown and

the Daring Way organization.

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I don't know that I've ever

really experienced such

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incredible adult formation.

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and training and a real freedom of

saying, we are teaching you this

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because we want you to utilize it in

your field as a caring professional.

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I was with therapists and counselors.

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I came back on fire with the Daring

Way and I will say, I think I

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made a bit of a mistake by doing

what some of us do sometimes.

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And we get really excited about it,

want everybody to learn it and do it.

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I did that and you know, live and learn

but I did find ways at church, but

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also Well for the Journey, which is a

nonprofit here in Baltimore, Maryland.

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Maybeth Hudson is the founder of it.

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It's been in operation

over 20 years and she.

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Is also a parishioner at Church of

the Good Shepherd and they offer

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classes and opportunities for adults

who are spiritually curious in a

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lot of different capacities to you

know, seek out a class or a course.

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So I did some book studies on Brené

Brown and I offered some of the

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intensives workshops . And then

this is like the longest answer to a

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question I've ever taken in my life.

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Then, fade out, fade in, I

was co facilitating with a

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colleague here in Baltimore.

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And he was, he had just left

becoming a lawyer, a very high

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level partner at a law firm, and

was going into leadership coaching.

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And he kept saying to

me, you need to do this.

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You are going to love this.

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I mean, this Georgetown program

for transformational leadership

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and you're going to love it.

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I didn't really know what coaching was.

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I thought coaching was more

what is considered consulting

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or advising or mentoring.

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You know, you come to me with a

problem and I help you fix it.

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And that's not what coaching is.

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Coaching is learning how to empower

individuals to cultivate capacities

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within themselves that they want.

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to grow because typically they've reached

a point in their career where they can

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do things expertly and yet there's a

sense of being unfulfilled or there's a

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sense of maybe being asked to move into a

leadership role and they're spending all

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their time with the busy work because they

feel we feel really good when we do a lot

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of busy work but how do I do those other

things that are about deep work right

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that's the real essence of leadership.

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So I took his word for it and applied

and was accepted into the program

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and then COVID happened and what was

supposed to be an in person learning

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experience every month for two days

in DC turned into an online experience

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at first I was of course

really disappointed, but.

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Number one, I do not think I would

have been able to manage the in

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person class because of commuting.

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I think it would have been too much.

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Number two, that time and being online

with people, just like we are right here.

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And now I think you just like in

podcasting, create that intimate space.

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You have an intimate space.

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Communication.

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That's kind of amazing.

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Other coaches say like, you know,

do you miss coaching in person

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or people had started out their

coaching and they did it in person.

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I've never coached people in person.

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It's always been virtually.

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And I think it's my preferred way.

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of, of coaching because there's

something just intimate about, I get

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to stay in my space and yet we get

to create a space together, right?

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Like liturgy, we are creating something.

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And I think that's very powerful.

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So I took the program and, and

kind of learned what coaching

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was as I did the program.

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And again, it aligned with the shame

resilience skills I learned in and

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on the very first day we are being

told, you know, This program is not

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about building your competencies.

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It's about building your capacities,

mindfulness, discernment presence.

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There was a Presbyterian

pastor in my cohort as well.

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We were one, there was I think

three clergy in a cohort of very

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accomplished corporate professionals.

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It was probably the most intimidating

experience I'd had in a long time.

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And I chat boxed him or did the chat

on zoom and was like, wait a minute,

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like this was very stuff, right?

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Like what's happening.

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Jon: What are we doing here?

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Arianne: And that's what it is.

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It really is learning how to have

intentional conversations, like on a

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podcast, an intentional conversation

with a person to help them discover

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within themselves their own wisdom.

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Their own path forward, the resources

that are available to themselves, both

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from within and without the questions

they might be afraid to pose because the

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answers are opening up new possibilities.

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You see how all of this aligns with, see

all things are being made new, right?

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Like it's.

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It's all, it's just all so

beautifully woven together for

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me as a faith based professional.

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I don't do coaching as a priest, right?

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That's, that's a separate, it's separate.

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But of course people know I'm a

priest, it's, it's on my website

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and people want to talk about it.

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You know, we, we want to talk about

the things that have no answers.

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And part of those conversations fall under

the category of faith and spirituality.

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And I'm sure you, like me have not met

someone that does not have a faith story

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from their childhood, from their family.

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Sometimes wonderful, sometimes not so

wonderful, sometimes, you know, really

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shaming, sometimes really empowering

and sometimes something in between.

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So.

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People appreciate, I think, also

sometimes talking to a person who's

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a priest, but is a person first.

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So that is the what?

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20 minute answer.

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Jon: You know what I just loved about

your answer, Arianne, is that it's so

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beautifully integrated all these terrible

tragedies that happened in your life.

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And I thought, gosh I hope we're

heading towards some resurrection.

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And we did.

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But also, you know, the role of

podcasting and how your spiritual

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life is integrated to all of it.

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And your call to being a priest and how

unique that is and how kind of wonderful

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that is you do have a podcast yourself.

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Are you on hiatus at the moment?

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I am.

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Arianne: I just did my first

recording last week for Season 2.

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And I get to interview our

new bishop elect tomorrow.

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Oh,

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Jon: fantastic.

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So, I gotta tell you...

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Bishop elect Carrie Schofield Broadbent

is the reason that I contacted you.

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I was talking with her as I'm a co

chair of the Commission on Ministry

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here, and talking about some things,

getting to know each other, and I said,

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you know, Lauren and I do this podcast.

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She said, do you know Arianne Rice?

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And I said, well, not really.

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So that's why we're here today, but I

gotta tell you, I want to kind of get back

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to your podcast, because I'm so glad it's,

I knew it was, Just you kind of were right

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: 00:20:08

around Easter of this year back in April

and it's now mid August She's coming back.

309

: 00:20:15

You promised you'd be back Great and

so your podcast is "Feeling Beings Who

310

: 00:20:22

Think" that's the name of it, right?

311

: 00:20:25

Yeah, so I want to hear a little bit

more about that, but I also wanted to

312

: 00:20:27

tell you That I happened to listen to

your last one that got posted when you

313

: 00:20:34

spoke with your colleague and friend

the very Reverend Jonah Kendall.

314

: 00:20:39

When you mentioned intimacy and deep,

deep stuff that comes out in those, I

315

: 00:20:46

mean, as I was listening to his story and

your part in it as well, this amazing,

316

: 00:20:51

and horrific loss that he and his wife

experienced with a stillborn baby.

317

: 00:20:56

I mean, like everybody who

listens, who really listens.

318

: 00:21:00

How can you not have tears in that?

319

: 00:21:02

Yeah.

320

: 00:21:03

And I thought, wow, this

is, this is intimacy.

321

: 00:21:08

So can you talk a little bit about Feeling

Beings Who Think and how that's all

322

: 00:21:12

working for you and for your listeners?

323

: 00:21:15

Arianne: Sure.

324

: 00:21:16

So, you know, having loved podcasts

and kind of wanting to do it.

325

: 00:21:20

And, you know, there's this weird thing

again, I'm sure you two can relate to it.

326

: 00:21:26

It's like, you want to share

something with the world.

327

: 00:21:28

That's a part of you.

328

: 00:21:29

And you also don't want to look like

you're so filled with yourselves at all.

329

: 00:21:36

Share your writing and your work.

330

: 00:21:37

But, you know, one of the things that

I don't think you realize when you

331

: 00:21:42

go into the church as a profession.

332

: 00:21:45

Is that, you know, our vocational

life is not completely fulfilled with

333

: 00:21:49

our professional identity, right?

334

: 00:21:51

So my professional identity is that I am a

rector of the Church of the Good Shepherd.

335

: 00:21:57

And that, that's a very specific job.

336

: 00:21:59

You know, there's, there's things

I have to do as, as director.

337

: 00:22:03

But all the spiritual pursuits

and all the vocational Charisms

338

: 00:22:08

that I feel called to explore.

339

: 00:22:09

I want to also explore in the world.

340

: 00:22:12

And I like having a foot, sort of,

in the church and also in the world.

341

: 00:22:17

And The podcast was one way

I thought I could do that.

342

: 00:22:21

I struggled with blog writing and

I just thought, you know what?

343

: 00:22:24

I just think I'm going to try.

344

: 00:22:25

So I ordered a microphone and it, you

know, I stared at it for like six months.

345

: 00:22:28

Yeah.

346

: 00:22:29

You just don't even know.

347

: 00:22:30

And then you just start, you know,

and I knew I wanted to talk to

348

: 00:22:35

working in the church and I'm blown

away by the support and wisdom of my

349

: 00:22:39

friends and colleagues, you know, and

they've all done significant work.

350

: 00:22:43

They're not famous authors, all of them,

but they're pretty incredible people.

351

: 00:22:47

And I've certainly had some amazing

experiences and profound life

352

: 00:22:50

changing experiences with some of

them because of our time together.

353

: 00:22:54

So So I just started, and I just started

booking people, and I just used Zoom, and

354

: 00:22:59

I all of a sudden it was just happening.

355

: 00:23:03

I don't know what else to say.

356

: 00:23:04

And then, you know, you

struggle with the title.

357

: 00:23:07

What do you call it?

358

: 00:23:08

And you Google 5, 000 things

that come to mind, and they're,

359

: 00:23:10

oh, that's already a title.

360

: 00:23:12

And then a really good friend of mine

she does crafts and she engraves like

361

: 00:23:18

beautiful handwritten things on metal.

362

: 00:23:21

And she once wanted to

send me a thank you.

363

: 00:23:23

And she's like, what's one of

your favorite Brene Brown sayings?

364

: 00:23:26

And I said, it's we want to believe we

are thinking beings who sometimes feel.

365

: 00:23:32

But the truth is, we are feeling beings

who sometimes think, and not always well

366

: 00:23:39

and it's, that's a core belief of mine.

367

: 00:23:41

You know, just a moment ago, I'm

telling you a very personal story.

368

: 00:23:44

And when I call to mind my

sister, it brings up emotions.

369

: 00:23:48

How could it not?

370

: 00:23:50

And I want to believe I've cultivated the

emotional intelligence to allow myself

371

: 00:23:55

to feel that without feeling ashamed.

372

: 00:23:57

And then to pull myself back

into the conversation in a

373

: 00:24:01

way that we can continue.

374

: 00:24:04

And I think how we feel determines

and dictates and guides what we say,

375

: 00:24:09

what we do, the narrative we start

creating in our head, because we are

376

: 00:24:12

creating those narratives all the time.

377

: 00:24:15

And I really wanted to talk

with people about that.

378

: 00:24:18

because I wanted to

talk with them about...

379

: 00:24:21

Story.

380

: 00:24:22

And I knew that once somebody started

talking to me about their life and some

381

: 00:24:26

capacity, I would know, I would start

asking questions because again, coaching

382

: 00:24:31

has really helped me strengthen curiosity.

383

: 00:24:35

And how do you ask somebody a powerful

question, a question that leads to more?

384

: 00:24:44

And not just an answer, right?

385

: 00:24:47

So that's why it's called feeling beings

who think I'm actually working with

386

: 00:24:53

somebody who thinks that maybe I should

change the name, but I don't know.

387

: 00:24:57

I don't know right now.

388

: 00:24:58

I'm just, I'm going with it.

389

: 00:25:00

I'm gonna, I'm going to give

myself a little more time.

390

: 00:25:03

I was releasing an episode every week

and I released 32 in season one and I'm

391

: 00:25:08

using zoom and using it, doing it myself.

392

: 00:25:11

So it was kind of consuming.

393

: 00:25:14

My weekends and I decided I took just, and

that's the thing with podcasting, right?

394

: 00:25:19

You can put out as much

content as you want.

395

: 00:25:21

Like the only thing that

prohibits the content is how

396

: 00:25:24

much time you have to do it.

397

: 00:25:27

So I realized I needed to pull

back and, and the Holy Spirit

398

: 00:25:32

just lined everything up, right?

399

: 00:25:33

Like I just had the guests and then it

all of a sudden came to a conclusion.

400

: 00:25:37

I was like, okay, I'm going

to pause, didn't know how

401

: 00:25:41

long, but I needed the summer.

402

: 00:25:42

And, now I'm excited to get started again.

403

: 00:25:45

I have some conversations

scheduled and I'm eager.

404

: 00:25:49

Fantastic.

405

: 00:25:49

Jon: Will it be weekly?

406

: 00:25:52

Arianne: I don't think so.

407

: 00:25:52

I think it's going to be bi weekly

or it may even be like I'm going

408

: 00:25:56

to release it when it's released

and that's when it's released.

409

: 00:26:00

I want to try and use my own self

compassion muscle, which constantly

410

: 00:26:04

needs to be stretched, to Cause I'm

the only one putting any limits on it.

411

: 00:26:10

I'll call my friend and be, you

know, upset about something.

412

: 00:26:13

And he's like, Arianne, this is you.

413

: 00:26:15

It's like, you're the

boss, you're the worker.

414

: 00:26:16

You're just, so just

do what's best for you.

415

: 00:26:20

And it's

416

: 00:26:20

Jon: supposed to be

417

: 00:26:21

Arianne: fun.

418

: 00:26:22

Yes, exactly.

419

: 00:26:23

You know,

420

: 00:26:24

Lauren: yeah.

421

: 00:26:25

And we always have to use discernment.

422

: 00:26:27

I mean, you help others learn how

to discern, but we're continually

423

: 00:26:31

learning to discern ourselves too.

424

: 00:26:33

Amen.

425

: 00:26:34

And, and, and to be good to ourselves.

426

: 00:26:36

And Jon and I have said

we'll do this as long

427

: 00:26:39

Arianne: as we're having fun.

428

: 00:26:40

Yes.

429

: 00:26:40

That's a, that's a very good goal.

430

: 00:26:46

Has

431

: 00:26:46

Lauren: there been anything in

all this that truly surprised you?

432

: 00:26:51

Arianne: Honestly coaching

was a huge surprise.

433

: 00:26:55

I'm a person that sometimes has

felt it's my job to fix things.

434

: 00:27:02

I do.

435

: 00:27:02

I certainly think it's tied into why I

do what I do for a living as a priest.

436

: 00:27:07

And learning to be a coach

was having to stop doing that.

437

: 00:27:12

I mean, it truly being a

facilitator, you don't do it either.

438

: 00:27:15

I think truly actually being a mature

human being, you realize what's mine

439

: 00:27:18

to do and what's not mine to do.

440

: 00:27:20

And a lot of the time that other people's

issues are not mine to do, or certain

441

: 00:27:25

situations aren't all mine to do.

442

: 00:27:27

I need, I need help doing them.

443

: 00:27:29

I've learned a lot of that from SLYC,

by the way, when you brought up St.

444

: 00:27:32

Luke's Youth Center.

445

: 00:27:34

Which is also, I do want to

talk about that a little bit.

446

: 00:27:37

It's just been one of the most

phenomenal aspects of my ministry.

447

: 00:27:40

So coaching I remember my advisor in

the program, she was like, you're going

448

: 00:27:46

to have a really hard time with this.

449

: 00:27:48

She's like, because you're

an expert at things.

450

: 00:27:50

You know how I said, like I came back from

Daring Way and wanted to make everybody

451

: 00:27:54

like fall in love with Brene Brown.

452

: 00:27:55

Just because I think something should

be a certain way or done a certain

453

: 00:27:59

way does not mean the whole world

thinks it should be done that way.

454

: 00:28:02

And just because somebody's asking

for help or advice, sometimes maybe

455

: 00:28:09

I think the better thing you can

do is offer back another question.

456

: 00:28:12

Like, I'm sure you share with me,

sometimes the most fun part about

457

: 00:28:16

preaching is to look at everybody

and say, well, what do you think?

458

: 00:28:20

You know, and Jesus is always doing that.

459

: 00:28:22

Well, what do you think?

460

: 00:28:24

And it's a really empowering statement

and an opening that you can give people.

461

: 00:28:30

And when I've been coached, it's amazing.

462

: 00:28:33

Sometimes the answers that are there

for you and, you know, I said earlier,

463

: 00:28:38

the resources to realize it's okay

to find the people who you need in

464

: 00:28:44

certain situations to support, guide,

help, and learn how to get better

465

: 00:28:49

at asking for, for what you need.

466

: 00:28:52

That's been one of the surprising

things about coaching is, is growing

467

: 00:28:56

in my ability to empower people as

opposed to try and feel like it's

468

: 00:29:03

my responsibility to do the work.

469

: 00:29:05

And I will say some people,

they're not quite ready for that.

470

: 00:29:10

Some people come into leadership

coaching that type of coaching and

471

: 00:29:15

they, they want more of a training

type of thing, which is great.

472

: 00:29:19

Because coaching requires sort of seeing,

it's, it's about more than one fix or,

473

: 00:29:26

or, you know, it's not, it's not one job

that's going to make everything okay.

474

: 00:29:30

It's not one thing in the future

that's going to fix everything.

475

: 00:29:34

It's what can I do right now to start

making small changes that open up new

476

: 00:29:41

perspectives and ways of taking in.

477

: 00:29:44

what's happening and, and making

maybe different choices than I'm just

478

: 00:29:48

accustomed to making all the time.

479

: 00:29:50

Lauren: You're having people to go deeper

480

: 00:29:53

Arianne: well, part of it is the, I think

official term is cognitive reframing.

481

: 00:29:57

So yeah, if you explain a situation

to me, you know, let's say Oh my

482

: 00:30:03

gosh, Jon came into the studio

today and he was really gruff.

483

: 00:30:06

And I know yesterday I told him that I

thought that question he asked so and so.

484

: 00:30:11

Now I'm wondering, is he mad or?

485

: 00:30:14

I can just ask you a bunch of

questions about that, that pretty

486

: 00:30:17

quickly, you could see like, well,

maybe, but that's an assumption.

487

: 00:30:22

And maybe your assumption or

assessment of the situation

488

: 00:30:25

isn't actually what's happening.

489

: 00:30:27

So how else might we reframe the story

you're making up in your head and figure

490

: 00:30:33

out what you might do to learn more

about the situation and figure it out.

491

: 00:30:37

Do you need to figure it out?

492

: 00:30:38

You know, yada, yada, yada.

493

: 00:30:40

And lots of times.

494

: 00:30:42

You know, all of us know what it is

to be in jobs and the people around

495

: 00:30:47

us, if all of them could change, if

all of them could do things our way,

496

: 00:30:50

if everybody in our pews would just

do everything we said, we would be

497

: 00:30:55

able to all have thriving churches.

498

: 00:30:57

If all of them just came to church

more, you get what I'm saying.

499

: 00:31:01

So I can choose to see the world that way.

500

: 00:31:02

I can choose to live that way, or

I can choose to look at myself, my

501

: 00:31:06

patterns, my way of taking in information

and then how I'm interpreting it.

502

: 00:31:10

And maybe I can make some changes.

503

: 00:31:12

It's about being content.

504

: 00:31:14

I think all of us want to be content

and happy in our work, in our love

505

: 00:31:18

we, we want to be feeling good.

506

: 00:31:20

Good news.

507

: 00:31:21

We want it.

508

: 00:31:23

Jon: This is good news.

509

: 00:31:24

Yeah, exactly.

510

: 00:31:25

Yeah, you got it.

511

: 00:31:26

So Arianne I'm sure that some of our

viewers and listeners would like to

512

: 00:31:30

find ways to get in touch with you,

whether it's about your work at Good

513

: 00:31:34

Shepherd, or I know you want to talk

about SLYC, so we'll get back to that.

514

: 00:31:37

But at this at this moment, are

there are People want to catch your

515

: 00:31:40

podcast or learn more about how you

provide the leadership coaching.

516

: 00:31:45

How can they find you?

517

: 00:31:47

Arianne: So I have a website, ariannerice.

518

: 00:31:50

com and everything is there.

519

: 00:31:52

The podcast, which is also,

you know, on all the platforms.

520

: 00:31:56

And there's forms that people can get

in touch with me if they want to work

521

: 00:32:00

with me or just want to ask questions

about what working with me or me with

522

: 00:32:04

a group and all of that is there.

523

: 00:32:06

Perfect.

524

: 00:32:06

Jon: We'll have that link in the show

notes for people who aren't watching

525

: 00:32:10

and maybe missed it in in hearing it.

526

: 00:32:13

So, definitely, that's that's great.

527

: 00:32:14

I love your I love your website.

528

: 00:32:16

And I like the, you had some,

there's a part of it, I think

529

: 00:32:19

you said it, it's work with me.

530

: 00:32:21

How can we work together?

531

: 00:32:22

I love that.

532

: 00:32:22

That's great.

533

: 00:32:24

Arianne: And obviously if you're looking

for a great Episcopal church and you

534

: 00:32:28

live in Baltimore or you want to find it

online, it's Church of the Good Shepherd.

535

: 00:32:32

We have our YouTube channel

like everybody else now.

536

: 00:32:34

And you know, we're here on Sundays.

537

: 00:32:37

Jon: Okay.

538

: 00:32:37

Well, we'll definitely put the link for

Good Shepherd in the show notes as well.

539

: 00:32:41

We yeah, it's a great church.

540

: 00:32:44

Got a lot of them in Baltimore,

but that certainly is one

541

: 00:32:46

of the great ones for sure.

542

: 00:32:49

Yeah.

543

: 00:32:51

Lauren: So before we leave, Arianne, you

wanted to talk about your work with SLYC.

544

: 00:32:58

Arianne: Oh, yes, thank you.

545

: 00:32:59

So St.

546

: 00:33:00

Luke's Youth Center, and I hope people

go and listen to the conversation with

547

: 00:33:03

Amanda Talbott who is, She is a phenomenal

human being who truly lives things into

548

: 00:33:13

being she just doesn't think and talk.

549

: 00:33:15

She creates and pulls people together

in ways that are unbelievable.

550

: 00:33:20

And I believe very much shaped by

her late father the Reverend Van

551

: 00:33:25

Gardner, who I know served as Dean

of the Cathedral for over 20 years.

552

: 00:33:30

And I Had the good fortune of

being connected with him when I

553

: 00:33:34

first arrived in Baltimore, and

he brought some clergy to St.

554

: 00:33:38

Luke's church to have gather

us in the undercroft and say

555

: 00:33:42

there was an afterschool thing

happening at this church.

556

: 00:33:45

But the building, you know, was

almost not inhabitable back then.

557

: 00:33:49

Massive building in West Baltimore.

558

: 00:33:51

And Could We Help?

559

: 00:33:53

And instantly I just saw an opportunity

for Church of the Good Shepherd

560

: 00:33:57

community to be connected with a

very different community than the

561

: 00:34:00

community we're a part of every day.

562

: 00:34:02

This church is a suburban church in

a beautiful part of Baltimore County.

563

: 00:34:06

All my ministry experience prior to coming

here was in more urban environments.

564

: 00:34:10

And I just thought this was an

opportunity for us to strengthen

565

: 00:34:13

relationship building and mutual ministry.

566

: 00:34:15

And so we started there in 2012 or 13 and

you know, here I am now in: 2023

567

: 00:34:21

of the board of a nonprofit that is SLYC

was going through the whole iteration of

568

: 00:34:27

that, which should be listened to on the

episode with Amanda, was just one of,

569

: 00:34:32

you know, those experiences, Lauren and

Jon, where it's like, you, you preach

570

: 00:34:36

about how God does amazing things.

571

: 00:34:38

And then you walk away and you're like,

yeah, you know that it's true, but

572

: 00:34:42

then like you experience it in real

time and some ministry that you cannot

573

: 00:34:47

believe has become what it's become.

574

: 00:34:49

Like, you just the things that

happen, they don't make sense.

575

: 00:34:52

They couldn't have been orchestrated.

576

: 00:34:55

And you gather in these moments when SLYC

has camp imagination as we did a couple

577

: 00:34:59

weeks ago or when you're just at the after

school program and you're just there and

578

: 00:35:04

you're like, holy, not a word I would say

on the podcast with a collar on, how, how

579

: 00:35:12

is it possible that this is happening?

580

: 00:35:16

And the thing I really want to say,

especially for, for, for leaders

581

: 00:35:21

and churches in the Baltimore area.

582

: 00:35:24

This has been a huge gift to

Church of the Good Shepherd.

583

: 00:35:27

Our community has been

enriched in this ministry.

584

: 00:35:31

We, when we did camp, I saw parishioners

volunteering at camps that I haven't

585

: 00:35:34

seen on Sunday and since COVID, you know,

they might be online, maybe, but patterns

586

: 00:35:39

change, you know, you guys know the story.

587

: 00:35:41

But it's, it's, it brings life

to the community and it brings,

588

: 00:35:45

we are now forming a relationship

with SLYC, you know, that's, that's

589

: 00:35:49

this, by hands coming together.

590

: 00:35:51

It's co equal.

591

: 00:35:52

It's as of course we still, you know,

recognize that that's just one way

592

: 00:35:57

we participate in reparative justice.

593

: 00:35:59

It just, it is.

594

: 00:36:00

It's one way we take what we

learned in Sacred Ground and

595

: 00:36:03

bring it into our real lives.

596

: 00:36:04

For So I just, I would, I encourage

congregations to just start partnerships

597

: 00:36:10

with SLYC because it's just, and

it's incredible watching these

598

: 00:36:12

kids and, you know just watching

them grow and being with them.

599

: 00:36:16

And it's just awesome.

600

: 00:36:17

It's really life giving.

601

: 00:36:20

Jon: Wow.

602

: 00:36:21

Yeah.

603

: 00:36:21

So this is this is good news

becoming great news, as I keep

604

: 00:36:24

saying over and over so Arianne, I.

605

: 00:36:28

I want to thank you actually I want

to thank Bishop-elect, or she'll be

606

: 00:36:32

Bishop Carrie by the time we're, this

is on the air for bringing us together.

607

: 00:36:36

But I, I so much appreciate your

time with us today and getting

608

: 00:36:40

to know you and hearing all about

your ministry and your podcast.

609

: 00:36:44

This has been a real gift.

610

: 00:36:46

I feel like we've been

on holy ground together.

611

: 00:36:48

Arianne: So thank you.

612

: 00:36:48

Yeah, thank you.

613

: 00:36:49

It's been a real treat for me.

614

: 00:36:50

So I really appreciate the invitation.

615

: 00:36:52

Thank you.

616

: 00:36:54

Lauren: Thank you.

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: 00:36:55

Thank you, Arianne.

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: 00:36:56

It's been a joy and Jon and I also

want to thank all those who are

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: 00:37:01

watching and listening with us today.

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: 00:37:03

We cannot do this without

your participation.

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: 00:37:07

So please take a moment to comment.

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: 00:37:10

Like or share on all your

social media platforms.

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: 00:37:15

This will help us spread the

good news to even more people.

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: 00:37:19

And again, thank you for the

gift of your time with us today.

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: 00:37:23

Until next time, peace and blessings.

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: 00:37:28

Jon: Good news is being brought

to you by Listening for Clues.

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: 00:37:31

You can find us on our

website, listeningforclues.

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: 00:37:34

com, our YouTube channel, our

Vimeo channel, and just about every

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: 00:37:39

podcast platform that there is.

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: 00:37:42

Hope to see you soon.