Bridge Building in a Divided World: A Conversation with the Rev. Canon Randy Callender

Lynn Shematek: 00:00:00

Hello friends.

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What does it mean to be a true

bridge builder in a divided world?

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The Reverend Cannon Randy Calendar

shares his journey of living in

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the middle of the bridge, embracing

tension, fostering authentic community

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in transforming faith into action.

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Brought to you by the good news team.

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Lynn Shematek and Deacons.

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Jon Shematek and Lauren Welch.

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Jon Shematek: Randy Calendar.

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Welcome to Good News podcast.

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Lauren and I are thrilled

you're joining us today.

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Randy Callender: Thank you.

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I'm so excited to be here.

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as you've heard me say before, you two are

the podcast superstars, and so I'm truly

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honored to be a guest on your podcast,

I've listened to your interviews and the

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way you hold space for honesty, healing,

and laughter, which is such a gift.

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Just thank you for having me here.

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Lauren Welch: We are really happy to

have you, Randy, to begin with, would you

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share with us what is the thread, through

your life and your ordained ministry

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that has led you to where you are now?

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Randy Callender: I will say that

for me, the thread will be that

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on my journeys, I've always lived

in the middle of the bridge.

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And to be clear, I'm talking about

seeing myself as a bridge builder.

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I grew up as a church nerd, was baptized

at the African Episcopal Church of St.

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Thomas, which is the first

Black Episcopal church.

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And so I've seen a lot of, Pain

and struggles in the church.

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when I was growing up in Philadelphia,

I thought the Episcopal denomination

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was a predominantly Black denomination

until I went to my first diocesan event.

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And the words that I actually

said verbatim was, where did all

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these white people come from?

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Always been here.

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when I talk about being a bridge builder,

a lot of people like to say that.

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I hear that all the time.

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You know, I'm a bridge builder.

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What they really mean is that people

like to build their side of the bridge.

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around their values, their

comfort, their community.

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and then they hope that the other

people who might be different look

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differently, speak differently

are building their sides as well.

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but as I would tell people,

nobody wants to walk over.

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Or drive over a bridge that has

a hole or gap in the center.

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That's the thread that brought

me to this ministry and that

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messy, unfinished, middle.

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I learned to stay in that space,

that space where, tension lives,

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where differences rub against

each other, and not run from it.

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that's how I feel.

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That's where God has called me

to stand, to be in that center.

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And again, not as a fixer, but as

someone who listens Over time, I've

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learned, not to listen, to respond

as people are debating but to listen,

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to understand and to see where God

is in the center of that bridge.

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So that's kind of been a thread,

being that bridge builder and finding

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God in those difficult spaces.

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Jon Shematek: Wow.

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that really sounds to me

like a place where courage.

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Is a necessary attribute.

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there you are, and these days

we're so aware of, polarization.

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People talk about it

as it's not going away.

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someone willing to be

in the middle of that.

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Attempting to bridge those

differences is a real act of courage.

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So from a, your Canon for

Mission, that's your title in the

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Episcopal Diocese of Maryland.

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and you're, it sounds like you're seeing

that as your role to be a bridge builder

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in chief almost, from a practical

standpoint, what does, how does, what

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does that translate into for, for folk?

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Randy Callender: before stepping into my,

current role as Canon for Mission, I've

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served over a decade as the Rector, at St.

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Philip's in Annapolis, one of

the historical congregations of

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African descent in our diocese.

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it was in that timeframe that

the community taught me what it

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means to love deeply, to lead.

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through struggle and how do we hold

fast in, in times of uncertainty.

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And it was during those 12

years of ministry that I

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started to feel this holy nudge.

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Like I felt this holy unrest from God.

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And that's when I realized I was being

called to work with, other congregations

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to walk alongside congregations and

leaders as they discern what mission

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looks like, in this changing world.

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that's what led me to, This ministry

for mission, helping congregations,

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lay leaders and clergy imagine what

it means to be the hands and feet

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of Jesus in a real, tangible way.

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how do we move from saying that we love

our neighbors to actually showing our

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neighbors how much we truly do love them?

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And so I, I love when people

will approach me and say.

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Well, you are the Canon for Mission.

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So, one, what does that mean?

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And what do you do?

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And I would say, well, what

do you want to know first?

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And they would say, well,

actually, what do you do?

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And I would respond and just say Yes.

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And they're like, what does that mean?

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And I would say everything

we do is mission.

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I feel like I'm tied into

a lot of different areas.

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a breakdown mission for me is talking

about, The heartbeat of God, the call

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to go beyond the walls of the church

and into the streets, neighborhoods,

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and places where hope is still possible.

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mission is not about

bringing God to the people.

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It's about joining God who is already

out there in the community already

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at the work of the margins already.

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Waiting for us to show up

with love, humility and a

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willingness to be transformed.

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I've seen that in our beloved diocese.

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I've witnessed, where a lot of our leaders

have said yes to that holy invitation.

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To go out in a community, to be with

God, to work, to be that bridge builder.

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I've seen it through our food pantries

that feed thousands of people,

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nurturing bodies dignity and connection.

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I've seen it through, Churches linking

through, local organization groups

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like Anne Arundel Connecting Together

through BUILD and PATH, and standing

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boldly for justice and equity.

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I've seen, communities create sanctuaries

for our migrants and refugees, declaring,

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with their actions that everyone is loved.

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and I've seen it through our Truth

and Reconciliation Commission in

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our diocese, we're confronting.

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Hard histories.

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We're telling the truth.

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We're walking, together toward healing.

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it's our role.

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we are called to actually go out into

the communities and join God, where God

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is already waiting and that's how you go

out into the center and start addressing.

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The middle of the bridge with the

Reparations Sutton Scholars program,

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that's what mission looks like.

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it's love that moves, faith that acts

and hope that refuses to stand still.

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that's how it connects everything.

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That's been my Passion for mission.

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that's the calling that I feel.

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living in that middle of the bridge

helps me to carry all that God has

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been asking me personally and all of us

as leaders in the Diocese of Maryland

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and within the Episcopal Church.

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How do we carry the weight of our

stories from both sides and still believe

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in working together in the center?

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it's about, not one person

just speaking, but our churches

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working together, working with our

beloved siblings in the community.

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I love when my grandmother used to say

things like, I need a church where I don't

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have to code switch, but be accepted.

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And I would say yes, that's what we

need in the Episcopal church, a church

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where we can be our authentic selves.

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And as a Black minister growing up in

Black congregations and carrying this.

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Deep legacy of strength

and trauma as well.

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That's where I strive to make sure that

all who are welcome into our churches

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feel that same love, that they don't

have to switch up to be accepted, that

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they can come as their authentic selves.

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And so as Canon for Mission, I get

to do that again, not tell people

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that you love them, but actually

show people how much you love them.

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Jon Shematek: So you're really

reminding us when you as

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individuals and as parishes.

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In case we've forgotten, it's

that we are a missional church.

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We are people on a mission.

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We are called, by God.

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how is that message received

when you take it out there?

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Randy Callender: it's not easy.

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I've been in some of our congregations

where, when I talk about mission,

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sometimes people hear, How do we get

our churches on Sunday to grow and

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have a bunch of people in our pews?

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the question I would always ask is, are

you calling me to help you as Canon for

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Mission to focus on ASA average Sunday

attendance or as Bishop Chilton would

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say, are you wondering to focus on AWI

average weekly impact, when I was at St.

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Philip's, I would focus on average

weekly impact community was gone.

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Would the rest of the community

notice that the building and

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the people there are missing?

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And if you're not focusing on the average

weekly impact by actually going out

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into the community and meeting where

God is, then if your church building

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was to close, and if people weren't

there to show up, then the community

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would never know that the church

was closed or that it was missing.

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But if you are engaged and out

there with God, they would know

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that you're missing if your doors

were locked and you were closed.

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So average weekly impact is the

piece where, I try to get most of our

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congregations and our leaders to focus

on, and sometimes that can be difficult

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because again, we've always lived

in that space where, average Sunday

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attendance is sometimes important and,

we wanna make sure we have a lot of

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people worshiping with us on Sunday.

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But as the church, when we do God's

work, when we do God's mission, it's

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not always about Sunday service.

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It's about where do you

stand with God on Monday?

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Where are you walking with God?

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On Tuesday, Wednesday,

Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

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Not just on Sundays.

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So that can be hard for people.

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'cause sometimes people only see

Mission or the church on one day.

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as I go out and I preach, it's

just reminding people what our

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role and our call is to do.

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Lauren Welch: Randy, as you stand in this

middle, when you try to get people to

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see what mission is, which is being in

the world where God is with God's people.

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It takes a lot of patience.

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So what is it that helps you, be patient

with everything that's going on and

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all of the feedback that you may get

and some of which may not be the best?

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Randy Callender: what gives me

patience, is finding, God in the

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midst of chaos, I always find God's

peace in the midst of chaos, I'll

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even align it with the word of hope.

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What gives me patient and hope, I'll

start with my 2-year-old daughter.

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She's the one who gives

me patience and hope.

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my 2-year-old daughter, Sariah, she's

bold, she's funny, asks deep questions.

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even when I'm preaching, she

somehow knows when I'm preaching

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too long, and she reminds me

that while I'm preaching as well.

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Then I have 11-year-old son who gives

me hope and patience with his love

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for the church and finding ownership

in it and knowing that he belongs.

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And so I look at those two and

think about, what it is that

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I'm doing and how I am creating.

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A safe space and a community of love

for those two when they grow up.

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my hope is that they would continue to

be in the Episcopal church where they

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can thrive and do the work that their

dad has been asking people, to live in.

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The other piece that give me patience

is, I love that we have a bishop that

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really focuses on self-care and making

sure that we surround ourselves with,

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spaces and places so that we can continue

to thrive and grow and take care of

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ourselves and that family is important.

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So, as I mentioned about my two

kids, I'm always there as a dad

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to support them and uplift them.

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my wife also is one of

my biggest supporter.

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I would always tell people, sometimes

I can be my own biggest critic, but

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my wife is my biggest supporter.

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And so that gives me patience as well.

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I surround myself with,

A lot of self care.

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I have, a spiritual director.

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a spiritual group that

I meet with colleagues.

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a therapist mentors and coaches

who, make sure they continue

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to guide me and lead me.

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And my ministry.

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But most of all, what gives me hope and

patience that I've learned from one of

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my, late mentors, Canon Ed Robman, he

used to tell me when I was in seminary.

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Randy, if you want to, be successful and

you want to continue to do God's work and

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not be overwhelmed and burnt out quickly.

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You can have your hands in everything,

but do not leave your fingerprints.

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And what he meant by that is that

everything that I do ministry, I can

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be called in multiple places all over.

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But make sure that the ministry

and the work that I'm doing, I'm

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doing for God and God's people.

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Because if it becomes all about me, and,

and I'm the one who have to be the face

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of everything and, and wanna get all the

accolades and tell everybody, look at me.

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Then that's quickly where burnout happens.

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But if you are helping others to learn

how to lead and inspire lay leaders

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as well, then you can teach encourage

and lead people you can step aside and

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let people continue to do, God's work

and continue to live in that ministry.

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Lauren Welch: Wow.

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Ed Ramen was a very good mentor

how has your spirituality

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deepened during this work?

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Randy Callender: my spirituality

has deepened in the part where,

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some days I find myself wondering,

are we really changing when it

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comes to the process of the church?

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Or are we just rearranging the furniture

my spirituality mostly comes from

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reminding myself that sometimes admission

or sometimes in the most, radical

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things that you can do is just stay.

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And what I mean by that is stay rooted.

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Stay honest, stay hopeful.

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many who have received emails from me

have saw at the bottom of my email, you'll

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see a scripture where it talks about

be, still know that I am God, or I say

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peace, be still and know that I am God.

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And those are the words

that, echo in my heart and my

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spirit, and I hear them often.

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And those are the words that carries me.

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Every day.

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And so when I am feeling overwhelmed

or when I feel like, there's too

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much happening, things that are going

on in our country where people seem

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divided, where everyone is seeking and

searching for answers and have all these

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questions and we're not getting enough.

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results and things happening.

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I hear those words, peace be

still and know that I am God.

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And it connects me and brings me back,

to, God in Christ being my anchor

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and leading me and reminded me that

everything that I do is not about me.

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And so, that's what helps me

in my spirituality and also

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finding a lot of time of prayer

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Another space that centers me

and brings me, one with God.

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every Friday.

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That's my Sabbath.

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if nothing is going on, I try to go to the

movie theaters, it's something about going

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into a movie theater and I'm by myself I'm

sitting in the chair and all of a sudden

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the lights dim, the, the movie or the pre

or the, trailers start to come on and,

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And then the surround sound starts to

play and you're in this sacred space.

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For me, it's the sacred space where it

has taken me out of the world and I'm

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no longer thinking about everything

that's happening on the outside.

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I'm focused and present being with

God just in that space, and it

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doesn't matter what's on the screen.

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It could be an Avengers movie, it could

be something scary that's going on.

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I'm just in this new space with God and

everything on the outside of that theater

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is, still going on, but I'm in this space.

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And then as soon as the,

movie is over, the lights come

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on and I walk out the door.

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I reenter into the world again.

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And then I focus on, The task or

whatever it is that I need to focus on.

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that's another place where I feel like

I find God or helps with, guiding my

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spirit of just being in this space, in

the movie theater of just being silent,

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but there's a lot of noise around me.

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when I take Myers-Briggs

test, I'm an extrovert.

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whenever I take the test, I'm a high

extrovert, to the point where my wife

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would tell me many times when I'm home

and I'm bored, she would say, you need to

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be around a bunch of people, don't you?

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And so I'm a person who

can go to a restaurant.

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sit there and watch the game

everybody's talking and it's loud,

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and I feed off of that energy

versus being at home, sitting in the

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basement watching the game by myself.

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I find God, I find energy and

I find my spirit stirring up.

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in the midst of chaos, I find God's peace.

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I'm someone who's not afraid

to be in uncomfortable spaces.

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I tell people that when I'm

leading anti-racism or anti-bias

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trainings, I'm comfortable.

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With being uncomfortable, and

I'm also comfortable with making

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others uncomfortable, if that's

gonna help us push towards justice.

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Jon Shematek: Well, Randy, you

don't really surprise me when

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you say you're an extrovert.

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You might have surprised me about

the movies, but I kind of had that

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sense, you know, and I just, I am,

what I'm really appreciating and

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listening with you today is, there

are so many amazing clues for folks.

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About how to become more

spiritually healthy.

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you're talking about, your spiritual

life, and thinking about all the different

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facets you mentioned ranging from

spiritual director to movie director.

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it's all there there's so much

that feeds the spirit if you

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allow it to, and I commend that.

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and that's just, a wonderful

model for people to consider.

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another thing I'm kind of.

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Wondering, Randy is, I know

Bishop Carrie has, several Canons.

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Many of them have actually been

guests on our podcasts, and they tend

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to go around from parish to parish,

teaching, preaching, talking, meeting.

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I know you do that as well.

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You've, hinted at that.

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What's that experience like for you?

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Randy Callender: I love it.

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I mean, I really enjoy preaching.

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it is truly a passion and a gift for me.

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I enjoy going out into our congregations

and having the opportunity to

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preach and be with so many amazing,

leaders in the Diocese of Maryland.

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when I go out, I get the opportunity

to let our, congregations know that.

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We are here to help them.

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our role is to support all of our

congregations, our schools, our

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clergy, our lay leaders, everyone

to help them in any way they can

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continue to strive in their ministry

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Love each other, love God,

and just do God's work.

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And when I'm there, I also get

the opportunity, as I mentioned

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earlier, to share what it means

to be, the Canon for Mission.

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I normally tell people,

I'm your Canon for Mission.

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I'm not the diocesan office,

Canon, I'm your Canon for

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Mission, where I get to serve and

support all of our congregations.

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And then I will break down some of

the areas of how I get to do that.

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the first one is I help congregations,

connect with their community.

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a lot of times we say

we love our neighbors.

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but we don't know our neighbors

I help congregations, learn

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how to do that by doing,

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Listening sessions with their communities,

figuring out what their community,

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views the church a lot of us sometimes

don't even know what our community

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thinks about our congregations.

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And I help congregations explore that.

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the second way is I help congregations,

get to really know each other.

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Canon Kristen and I get a great

opportunity to work together.

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Doing, anti-bias trainings.

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And then I get to work with, Reverend

Pan, Conrad to do, anti-racism trainings

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or Becoming Beloved Community trainings.

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And so the second piece I would

tell congregations is I help

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you all connect with each other.

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I was at a church one time and, This woman

was sharing how, you know, she's been a

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member of this church for over 20 years,

and was happy to share that, the person

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next to her with someone that, she's been

worshiping with for many years as well.

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: 00:19:55

And then I just said, that's great.

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And I asked, well, what

does she do for a living?

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I.

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Froze and thought oh.

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I help congregations really

get to know each other.

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: 00:20:03

Sometimes we sit next to each

other every single Sunday, but we

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: 00:20:08

don't really get an opportunity

to learn about who the person is.

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through our anti-racism

training, we get to do that work

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: 00:20:16

through our anti-bias training.

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: 00:20:17

We get to do that work Having house

meetings within our congregations, we

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: 00:20:21

get to do that work where we get to ask

each other, what keeps you up at night?

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: 00:20:26

what brought you here to this church?

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: 00:20:28

Why are you still here in this space?

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: 00:20:30

What is it about this community

that you love the most?

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: 00:20:33

what is it about, this space that

inspires you, that feeds you?

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: 00:20:37

where do you see God?

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In this church as well

as out in the community?

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you're helping people build a

relationship with each other.

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And then the third part is,

Finding ways of connecting

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with God through creation care.

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: 00:20:50

If you're looking at environmental

justice, you can look at ways of

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: 00:20:53

connecting with God Through our

Food pantry ministries, our Maryland

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Episcopal Public Policy Network.

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we can look to connect with God

through other forms of, of ministries,

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of connecting with God, within.

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The parish within the community,

or even if people want to do

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things on a national level.

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So how do we connect with our community?

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How do we connect with each other

and how do we connect with God?

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I break it down when I go

out to congregations and help

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them figure out what mission,

ministry is important to them.

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what do they feel God is calling

them to do, and what gives them

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: 00:21:28

excitement and joy as they go out.

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: 00:21:30

and meet God where God is already dwelling

and moving within their community.

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: 00:21:36

Jon Shematek: That's awesome.

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: 00:21:37

You know, and I think there's so much

ties into your original, opening, comment

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: 00:21:42

with us about being a bridge builder.

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: 00:21:44

and this is, if the divine mystery is

about anything, in my opinion, it's

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: 00:21:49

about relationships and connections.

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: 00:21:52

And so that's your life and your

work and all of our life and work.

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I thank you for that.

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Thanks for that image.

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: 00:21:58

Lauren, I'm gonna turn to you and

say, I think it's time for you

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: 00:22:02

to ask Randy a final question.

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: 00:22:08

Lauren Welch: Okay.

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: 00:22:08

Randy, you have shared so much and as

we leave, this, conversation, what would

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: 00:22:17

you like to leave our listeners what

advice would you like to leave them with?

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: 00:22:22

Randy Callender: So from the very

beginning I talk about living

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in the middle of the bridge.

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And yes, that's where I live.

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: 00:22:28

it's not always glamorous and

sometimes it can feel lonely.

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Often it is heavy.

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: 00:22:34

And yet in that space I've learned to love

it even when it's hard because I believe

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: 00:22:40

when we learn to live there not just stand

there for the moment, but live there.

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: 00:22:44

In the tensions we might discover

the kind of transformation the

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: 00:22:48

gospel calls us to it's not just

reconciliation for the sake of peace,

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: 00:22:53

but reconciliation for the sake of truth.

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: 00:22:55

We start telling each other the truth

not what we hope and want people

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: 00:22:59

to hear, but the truth out of love.

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: 00:23:01

to anyone who is, listening to

this podcast with these two amazing

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: 00:23:05

superstars, and who fills that pull,

who fills that pull, and, and those who

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: 00:23:11

are tired of division and, and wants

to be a part of something real, I want

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: 00:23:16

people to know that you're not alone.

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: 00:23:18

There are organizations.

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And committees doing the work right now

of living into the community of love

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: 00:23:25

that we strive and are called to live in.

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: 00:23:28

There are groups like, One America

movement that I get to work with, and

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: 00:23:31

I've been working with for eight years

of how to eliminate toxic polarization.

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: 00:23:36

as I said earlier, our Diocesan Truth and

Reconciliation Commission, who's doing

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: 00:23:41

the work that people can be a part of.

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: 00:23:43

There's the Reparation Task Force that

people can be a part and do the work.

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: 00:23:47

people can join food Ministries,

asking other congregations,

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: 00:23:52

how are you doing this work?

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: 00:23:53

We wanna do it.

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: 00:23:54

We want to learn.

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: 00:23:55

How to support and feed our

fellow siblings in our community.

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: 00:23:59

We have a ongoing meeting once

a month where our food pantries,

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: 00:24:04

come together and do this work.

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: 00:24:05

There's reading camp, for children and

as I had mentioned earlier, there's

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that Maryland Public Policy Network

and that's just the name, a few.

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: 00:24:12

So if people are wondering

where do I begin?

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: 00:24:16

How do I get involved?

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: 00:24:17

How do I actually, move from just

telling people I love them to

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: 00:24:22

showing people how much I love them.

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: 00:24:24

They can reach out to me,

you know, they can go to,

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: 00:24:27

rcallender@episcopalmaryland.org

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: 00:24:30

and I can help them connect with others

who are already building a community of

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: 00:24:34

love right in the middle of the bridge.

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: 00:24:37

And so that's what I believe with people.

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: 00:24:39

If you want to really be a

bridge builder, I can help.

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: 00:24:43

connect you with others who are doing this

work so that we can continue to meet God

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: 00:24:47

where God is already dwelling and moving.

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: 00:24:50

I'm just grateful, for both of you,

for having me here to share my story.

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: 00:24:53

There are a lot of, connections and

stories that I could have shared, but I

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: 00:24:57

know that this podcast is not four hours

long, I know it's just been a gift to

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: 00:25:01

be a part of the good news, and I just

love being in this space with all of you.

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: 00:25:05

And I'm just grateful for the ministry

and the work that you two are doing.

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: 00:25:10

Jon Shematek: Thank you, Randy.

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: 00:25:10

And you know, we can have you back.

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: 00:25:12

we would love to have you back.

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: 00:25:14

And, Canon Randy Callender, thanks

so much for being here today.

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: 00:25:17

We appreciate your time with us,

your wisdom, and your presence.

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: 00:25:23

Thank you.

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: 00:25:26

Lauren Welch: Jon and I also want to

thank those who are watching and listening

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: 00:25:31

with us today for the gift of your time.

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: 00:25:34

until next time, peace and blessings

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: 00:25:37

Lynn Shematek: This episode

of Good News has been brought

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: 00:25:40

to you by Listening for Clues.

455

: 00:25:43

For more podcasts, check out

our YouTube channel or our

456

: 00:25:47

website listening for clues.com